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Quality Quotes from 41ers

We couldn’t possibly be this stupid if we had nothing else to do.
  • Sheriff: "Yeah, he has massive boobies"
  • Tank: "You feel vulnerable? How do you think the kids feel?"
  • Sheriff: "I need someone to hold me like that when I'm high"
  • Dinaco: "Like autism, people choose to be like that"
  • Eclipse: "you want to be his violin?"
  • Tibia: "Asbestos is really just a gateway drug"
  • Raybandz: "Are you stroking it"
  • Tarka: "So our lives are a lie, everything we do is ineffective and there is magic? "
  • Zirconium: "Why were you showing your mouth so closely?"
  • Sheriff: "God made ducktape for a reason"
  • Fanta: "I'll noodle you real hard"
  • Apollo: "You haven't sniffed me in a while"
  • Rodeo: "Hit me with the long metal rod"
  • Tarka: "Dang, I got rotated"
  • Pterodactyl: "Resistors are a gift from the Lord. They do not have imaginary numbers in them. Imaginary numbers are from the Devil"
  • Tarka : "You gotta clean it immediately cause these things can really mess you up"
  • Keel: "I love being a white girl"
  • Eclipse: "Why are Americans thirsty for each other?"
  • Oxide: "LeTourneau is a Walmart parking lot"
  • Zirconium: "Come so your mouth can be turned into a science lab"
  • Delta: "Can I put my balls over your head"
  • Jet: "My mouth knows a lot of anatomy and physiology"
  • Sheriff: "Every once in a while, a man's gotta play with sweaty guys"
  • Eclipse: "I want to put my tongue in there"
  • Zirconium: "You're distracting me you unfair communist"
  • Delta: "My butt feels like it is opened"
  • Eclipse: "Do you get ponded if you date another 41er?"
  • Jet: "Play smash bros with your bros and then, smash your bros"
  • Jet: "My mouth is dedicated to science and not anything else"
  • Pterodactyl: "I like 'em young"
  • Tibia: "You're my emotional support autist"
  • Ace: "Come on, put your pants on, don't be lame"
  • Onomatopoeia: "Touch it, poke it, lick it, eat it, is it hard?"
  • Jet: "Just wait until tonight and I'll show you just how female I am"
  • Tibia: "what about heated blankets is gay"
  • Dinoco: "The best thing about having kids is you get to try the milk"
  • Xiphos: "No, I love your butt!"
  • Pterodactyl: "Having a 12 inch schlong would be terrible where would you put it?"
  • Paradigm: "No I don't think I'm gay anymore"
  • Sherriff: "Unlike PT, I have hormones"
  • Eclipse: "Is your girlfriend chill because she looks like she doesn't talk to poor people"
  • Dinaco: "I played with five year olds"
  • Dinaco: "I grew up watching naked men run around"
  • Tibia: "Pucker up"
  • Pterodactyl: "You have been bonked by a black"
  • Ace: "Don't stand behind me that's a lesson you need to learn"
  • Pterodactyl: "I should grow a Hitler stache"
  • Pterodactyl: "Tibia, you're looking really submissive and breedable today"
  • Tibia: "Dude I tried to throw down with Jude last night. He didn't want to throw down"
  • Pterodactyl: "I underestimated the power of pure unadulterated cringe"
  • Paradigm: "Everything is either circuits or drugs"
  • Pterodactyl: "Slurp that bad boy"
  • Onomatopoeia: "They are doing each other"
  • Xiphos: "Will this work for my aids"
  • Pterodactyl: "Gaining wives like we are gaining achievements"
  • Xiphos: "My body would suggest otherwise"
  • Xiphos: "Five nights at Tibia's"
  • Tibia: "Why are women so gay"
  • Apollo: "No, beat me instead"
  • Tibia: "You gotta lick the tip bro"
  • Xiphos: "God literally nerfed California with its people"
  • Yakuza: "I was expecting a mallard"
  • Tibia: "No one else is gay"
  • Tibia: "Dont make me come up there, I will spoon you right now"
  • Pterodactyl: "Colorado is just California 2.0"
  • Paradigm: "There's nothing more attractive than a gay woman"
  • Rodeo: "So now you're working on the sexy factor"
  • Croc: "You're just pegging Ace"
  • Viper: "yo, we might have committed incest"
  • Momo: "Women weren't invited to the abandoned toilet factory. I peed on so many toilets"
  • Paradigm: "PT lives in the second dimension. Linear algebra is like anatomy for him"
  • Ace: "You pull it out during room inspection"
  • Raybandz: "I'm definitely gonna hit my kids"
  • Tibia: "I'll bring that up with God"
  • Ruble: "Did you say you're butt hole is hurting?"
  • Ruble: "I like it in my mouth"
  • Charisma: "Is it my impression or is my banana getting brown"
  • Zirconium: "That's a very friendly hand you have there"
  • Pterodactyl: "It is simply optimal to marry the homies"
  • Eclipse: "Let me try to be more gay"
  • Fanta: "It felt like you were shoving a sausage down my canal"
  • Xiphos: "My butt is literally riding this wood"
  • Pterodactyl: "Drugs are pretty peak, not gonna lie"
  • Raybandz: "Who looks stupid now"
  • Sheriff: "Well, I'm now officially a furry"
  • Maverick: "I'll wink at him"
  • Eclipse: "With that you're almost Brazilian"
  • Momo: "What's the point of us being there? It's just two lovers jumping into a pond"
  • Apollo: "He was riding me hard"
  • Pterodactyl: "I must start training my clone army, the time has come"
  • Momo: "I radared my fellow blond"
  • Fanta: "Don't sit on my face please"
  • Xiphos: "You're under age right"
  • Tibia: "Four score and 6 wives ago"
  • Pterodactyl: "T3 is always down for a little bit of toe action"
  • Paradigm: "Yessir, I have breasts"
  • Paradigm: "I've got some fluids to show you"
  • Pterodactyl: "I eat small children"
  • Eclipse: "Wait, let me try to be more gay"
  • Croc: "Ughh! I pulled out and beat baby peach"
  • Rodeo: "I met a cute attack helicopter"
  • Onomatopoeia: "I'm trying to get their money"
  • Paradigm: "I'm gonna circumcise him with a bullet"
  • Yakuza: "My feet are so massive, they could eat yours and still be hungry"
  • Paradigm: "You squirt more than you spit"
  • Stradic: "You can't stick your hand in my pocket and do that motion"
  • Rodeo: "I almost nailed her"
  • Tarka: "George Washington the dumpy that saved 'merica'"
  • Stripes: "I'm Stripes, but you can call me grandaddy"
  • Pterodactyl: "Sorry I thought you were going to be a girl without a chaperone"
  • Pterodactyl: "We're all a little gay for maverick"
  • Eclipse: "Stop blowing my head"
  • Eclipse: "They're teaching me how to blow them in english'"
  • Paradigm: "I'm here if I need you"
  • Carp: "We got weinered by the women"
  • Pterodactyl: "You cant say that its not gay enough"
  • Dinaco: "Dont put it in your mouth, put it in mine"
  • Stradic: "You gotta blow it softer"
  • Xiphos: "I need more 'tism in my life"
  • Eclipse: "I'm always excited"
  • Tibia: "You're not coming to Thomas unless you're coming to 41"
  • Pterodactyl: "Tibia, we need to have a child"
  • Pterodactyl: "Look at that beautiful sexy thing, I love the Dorito"
  • Oxide: "I've had good meat before"
  • Pterodactyl: "9 is scary, 10 is scarier, mom come pick me up"
  • Delta: "Alec, will you be my ogre"
  • Eclipse: "It smells like man in here"
  • Apollo: "Dang, yours is so long"
  • Rodeo: "There is a pipe bomb in your mailbox"
  • Rodeo: "(points to phone) That killed last night"
  • Eclipse: "What if a black guy chases me, cause they are the scariest"
  • Pterodactyl: "I want your love and affection"
  • Pterodactyl: "Touch me and you die"
  • Maverick: "You knew I've always wanted to be black"
  • Tibia: "It's called a spectrum for a reason you dingus"
  • Fanta: "Touch him again, I like watching"
  • Tibia: "I'd rather be sweaty with a lack of clothes"
  • Paradigm: "His kleptomania is kicking in, he wants you"
  • Xiphose: "I should just kill people for a living"
  • Pterodactyl: "Premium deluxe butt napkins"
  • Eclipse: "When you put the white stuff out of your mouth"
  • Eclipse: "I'm going to take care of your wife"
  • Raybandz: "You've never gently grabbed another man's pinky while he was stroking an eggroll"
  • Stradic: "So there is an absolute idiot and it's you"
  • Stradic: "Oh shoot, I dropped the soap"
  • Sherriff: "You're making me into you, which is not a good thing"
  • Pterodactyl: "Bro's like I'm gonna shave it in and hope it works"
  • Tibia: "I love huffing wet asphalt"
  • Tibia: "I'm open to trying new things"
  • Apollo: "I'm straighter than your hair"
  • Shire: "Groin muscle"
  • Paradigm: "You thought I was having fun in Ono's bed?"
  • Onomonopiea: "Got sunked"
  • Delta: "I like Alec's butt"
  • Momo: "That's how I tell if Diamonds are real, I use my nipples to cut them"
  • Eclipse: "We are eating brown balls"
  • Zirconium: "Which bed, Mine or yours?"
  • Tibia: "I believe in the heart of the cards er, the heart of the balls, I guess"
  • Paradigm: "Why are you black"
  • Ruppel: "Lord Stradic is awoken"
  • Eclipse: "You are making me delicious"
  • Apollo: "Did he just give me a wink?"
  • Oxide: "First the wink then the weenie"
  • Croc: "Stroke that thang cuzo"
  • Tibia: "You can tell I'm white because that's all the seasoning I need"
  • Index: "Look at how much thick I have"
  • Paradigm: "I would love to butter your finger"
  • Tibia: "I just got lube all over the walls"
  • Rodeo: "I don't know why you would ever think"
  • Pterodactyl: "I suppose Sheriff is just a cat boy now"
  • Vespa: "I don't know where to go from here, normally I'd just choke him"
  • Xiphos: "Are they making more 41ers?"
  • Vespa: "That's a wide open man"
  • Rodeo: "You're strong and I don't like it"
  • Stradic: "You get a girl on one side and then a big dude, she would go flying"
  • Oxide: "You wanna be Jewish"
  • Byte: "I'll do a line of your snot"
  • Dinoco: "Circles are squares"
  • Stradic: "I'm going to put a balloon on your banana"
  • Stradic: "Give me your foot"
  • Tank: "I like finding relationships"
  • Onomatopoeia: "You like chipping in the hole"
  • Eclipse: "Naked guys with a watermelon"
  • Tibia: "I just really want to try and snort something at some point"
  • Eclipse: "I had a fish in me somewhere, I just don't know where"
  • Eclipse: "I think it was inside my butt"
  • Maverick: "Don't make me drop my pants, because I will"
  • Maverick: "If being gay was pondable, I'd be living there"
  • Byte: "Oh, He's legal now"
  • Index: "He was on top, I was on bottom"
  • Eclipse: "I just see a bunch of balls"
  • Sheriff: "It needs to be abused"
  • Sheriff: "I'm covered in different"
  • Eclipse: "Did I wet you"
  • Sheriff: "My butt cheeks are so exited"
  • Paradigm: "Maybe I should do that to a girl"
  • Rodeo: "Only one of them has found me in their closet"
  • Zirconium: "Just surrender"
  • Raybandz: "Don't play too much, when I get back I'll play with you"
  • Rodeo: "Sorry I almost killed you"
  • Vespa: "I just need to get naked"
  • Paradigm: "I definitely did not just touch him"
  • Sheriff: "I'm gonna contemplate life"
  • Pterodactyl: "I want a pastry that will give me cancer"
  • Maverick: "I showered with him naked"
  • Fanta: "Stick it in your mouth, stick the whole thing in your mouth"
  • Pterodactyl: "How hard it jiggles"
  • Stradic: "Ono, Jude title 9 me, then he punched me"
  • Paradigm: "You want to see the video"
  • Stradic: "You're thrusting me so hard"
  • Paradigm: "You're blocking my balls"
  • Stradic: "You gonna give me a treat or something"
  • Croc: "Gosh dang it byte! why did you do it while I was bent over"
  • Tibia: "Everyone get in bed, my bed"
  • Tarka: "Just everyone pee in the pond before you throw me in"
  • Tibia: "I can't blame you if you don't like the bottom"
  • Tibia: "I didn't do anything"
  • Stradic: "I feel like I'm giving birth right now"
  • Byte: "I'm sorry you don't want a moist butt"
  • Jet: "The first time I saw a woman, I knew being gay would be an uphill battle"
  • Paradigm: "Just slaughter women"
  • Eclipse: "I'm going to break your tibia"
  • Onomatopoeia: "It just slipped out of my mouth"
  • Paradigm: "Stuff it in your pants"
  • Paradigm: "Who would reach into your pants"
  • Rodeo: "That would be an assault on a minor ... a welcome assault"
  • Tibia: "My bed is so dirty"
  • Paradigm: "Where are the girls when I need them?"
  • Raybands: "Tibia wants freshmen"
  • Delta: "You made me touch your butt"
  • Stradic: "That's why you are in the middle of the threesome bed"
  • Axolotl: "We have hundreds of pictures of Byte's feet"
  • Tibia: "Sorry, I was thinking about murder"
  • Stradic: "You're curvy"
  • Eclipse: "He didn't wet me"
  • Eclipse: "He didn't put his finger in me"
  • Apollo: "I guess I just like putting balls on Tibia"
  • Maverick: "I found the unlock button to his legs"
  • Eclipse: "I like to hug men"
  • Eclipse: "I won't be able to share a room with a man anymore"
  • Axolotl: "I wouldn't want a jet-filled hole in my heart"
  • Axolotl: "We were just comparing sizes"
  • Apollo: "I'll make Mark bark"
  • Byte: "I will comfine to your feet"
  • Paradigm: "I get a lot of practice with Stradic"
  • Xiphos: "Mmmm... Small people"
  • Paradigm: "Stradic is just teasing me right now"
  • Paradigm: "I just want to plunder you"
  • Tank: "Me and my brother were sword fighting"
  • Apollo: "What kind of sword fighting?"
  • Onomatopoeia: "That was so loud... I didn't know you could scream so loud Byte"
  • Croc: "It's not snow white, it's brown rice"
  • Byte: "I can only do that when I am wet"
  • Tarka: "You guys are doing me on my half birthday"
  • Xiphos: "The best stuff is near the pocket"
  • Delta: "Are you going to the bathroom, I'm going with you!"
  • Apollo: "I have to sleep with that man"
  • Vespa: "I was very much awake at 0300"
  • Eclipse: "It was so big that I felt numb"
  • Eclipse: "I gave birth to a dump"
  • Peterodactyl: "You can touch my butt all you want"
  • Peterodactyl: "The suckee is the one getting sucked"
  • Peterodactyl: "I too, am gay"
  • Pterodactyl: "We'll be doing it in bed"
  • Pterodactyl: "You wanna be sucked cause that can be arranged"
  • Maverick: "I've definitely seen him wet'"
  • Peterodactyl: "No give it to me gay"
  • Peterodactyl: "I'll milk your duds"
  • Jet: "Only I can touch other people's no-no squares"
  • Index: "What happens if I love him"
  • Pterodactyl: "I'm actually secretly writing fan fiction about Jet"
  • Tibia: "You can heck me any time"
  • Delta: "Heros shouldn't have capes"
  • Tibia: "I'v rather just give you a smooch while I'm sitting here"
  • Tibia: "I'v been thinking about how women are taking our jobs for awhile now"
  • Onomatopoeia: "I'm a minor"
  • Caboose: "I have a big stick"
  • Pterodactyl: "Give me the thing I'll circumcise it for you"
  • Byte: "You had me at feet"
  • Maverick: "Stay out of women"
  • Maverick: "I can be a woman"
  • Hinklstine: "He dresses me in the morning"
  • Jet: "His little warrior failed"
  • Aeron: "Let me touch your luscious lips to mine"
  • Pterodactyl: "I have a very hard time not touching things"
  • Pterodactyl: "Sausage rolls are basically pizza that you put your sausage in"
  • Oxide: "I would be fine if I didn't have balls"
  • Jet: "So I just googled sexy anime girl"
  • Tibia: "I just heard balls and I turned back in"
  • Sangheli: "So you're telling me Eve chose the difficulty for us"
  • Jet: "I am used to wet men in the military"
  • Jet: "They put a lot of love into Jar Jar Binks' long slick tongue"
  • Jet: "It bent and did not go in"
  • Eclipse: "Cows make good noises when they are killed"
  • Oxide: "Stein, you want this Jewish banana"
  • Eclipse: "Kiss my pin"
  • Tibia: "I have STDs for you"
  • Onomatopoeia: "Beat me"
  • Eclipse: "You don't like males, they are fun too"
  • Pterodactyl: "You just shove your sausage into the bread"
  • Sangheli: "Before we do this does anybody want to get me off"
  • Twiga: "Oh, I forgot shoes!"
  • Oxide: "If you ever need to break the ice just call Byte’s mom."
  • Byte: "Come here boy I wanna touch you."
  • Keel: "That’s a breast right there."
  • Keel: "That dude in the pink trunks, I really like him."
  • Caboose: "I can fit four."
  • Stradic: "Well, I can fit five."
  • Mongo: "You wanna make Ono wet?"
  • Fanta: "I’m gonna beat this guy in a boat."
  • Napa: "I’m gonna physically bless him."
  • Byte: "I love skinning kids"
  • Onomatopoeia: "I will throw these at your face holes."
  • Onomatopoeia: "Imma touch you"
  • Hinkelstein: "I’m gonna put some balls in some holes."
  • Hinkelstein: "Hey, unclench!!"
  • Maverick: "He went above and beyond to call him gay."
  • Maverick: "We’ll fight with noodles!"
  • Tibia: "Yeah,, I know how to mate with a queen."
  • Pterodactyl: "I can prove babies taste good."
  • Pterodactyl: "If you had just swallowed that whole process would have been so much easier."
  • Alec: "I’m confused in Portuguese."
  • Maverick: "Yay! White privilege."
  • Paradigm: "Oh my gosh, there’s a baby in my bed."
  • Mongo: "Jet was holding him hostage under the table."
  • Neutrino: "Wait, are we talking about the nun movie or the virgin movie?"
  • Onomatopoeia: "Can you just mate me?"
  • Tibia: "I’ll sometimes drop my pants cuz I think it’s funny"
  • Maverick: "Bet he’s fat"
  • Pterodactyl: "Hey, I know that guy"
  • Pterodactyl: "I get impatient…. I don’t want to suck on it"
  • Oxide: "Saco de bolas! Pal!"
  • Alec: "I just came here to poop and grab my screw."
  • Maverick: "Never made a baby"
  • Byte: "I can fit it on Tuesday or Thursday."
  • Keel: "I was going to bang my shoes."
  • Hinkelstein: "May help if we turn it on."
  • Paradigm: "He’s got that polygamous rizz"
  • Star: "Anakin was technically just pro-choice, just very late term."
  • Jackson: "I know it’s bubble gum pink"
  • Slinky: "Just plant a gun on him"
  • Slinky: "You look very vulnerable over there in that corner."
  • Paradigm: "You got me a sex change?"
  • Paradigm: "This is where I’ll be storing all the children."
  • Caboose: "It actually ssays that in the Bible. It says Frick...um.."
  • Mulligan: "If you don’t have your PE, you’re for blowing up children."
  • Sangheili: "SIT ON YOUR OWN NUT BAR"
  • Mongo: "I thought you were just touching me"
  • Tibia: "I like it when Stein… Nevermind"
  • Maverick: "Grib it harder"
  • Maverick: "What can I say, but I’m into feet"
  • Tibia: "You can loose political favor very fast."
  • Twiga: "No wiener for you"
  • Maverick: "I have to get a wife that smells good because I like smelling things."
  • Solar: "I like a man that moves"
  • Maverick: "I’m gonna deport this Albino"
  • Tibia: "I haven’t told you to stop, keep going."
  • Hinkelstein: "Jokes on you I might enjoy it"
  • Paradigm: "I’m pretty squirmy so…"
  • Maverick: "It hit my zipper."
  • Maverick: "But I’m not gonna go around sniffing women."
  • Byte: "He kicked me in the nuts. So I kicked him into the door."
  • Fanta: "I’m going to make your location a secret project."
  • Byte: "I’ll crack your nose for free."
  • Maverick: "Oh I’ll give it to you."
  • Caboose: "We’re gonna have some sax."
  • Onomatopoeia: "Why are you rubbing my butt."
  • Maverick: "I don’t spoon w/ dudes."
  • Tachyon: "All the excitement is gone."
  • Byte: "Why don’t you take it out, Colonel Sanders."
  • Axolotl: "Just be as long as you can"
  • Oxide: "That ball was more pretty than any of the girls on campus"
  • Tibia: "I prefer my alcohol."
  • Byte: "He can open his mouth SO WIDE"
  • Byte: "Open up, hamster."
  • Byte: "I’m afraid to open my mouth now."
  • Hinkelstein: "Don’t touch my chest. I do what I please."
  • Latigo: "Don’t skip out on bolt day."
  • Carp: "The wood is always changing."
  • Sangheili: "She follows orders it’s that simple."
  • Avalanche: "More passion SteIN, Come on!!!"
  • Axolotl: "I just ate another man’s pickle."
  • Paradigm: "Get my phone out of your butt."
  • Caboose: "I beat so many people it’s not even funny"
  • Onomatopoeia: "The clothes! They must all come off!"
  • Stradic: "Are you gonna water your leg?"
  • Stradic: "Bro, he got thick!"
  • Neutrino: "Call ISIS"
  • Carp: "I’ll title your nine"
  • Solar: "That’s why I plan on dropping all my kids."
  • Caboose: "My brain made the things that go sparky-sparky."
  • Maverick: "You have 30 seconds to start the devo before Ii go to town on that ping pong ball "
  • Onomatopoeia: "I regret eavesdropping on this conversation"
  • Pterodactyl: "That’s a bunch of dudes laying on another dude"
  • Oxide: "I’m more straight than the stripes on a pride flag"
  • Oxide: "Go back, you witch."
  • Xiphos: "… so if you see me rubbing my nipples with grapes that’s why"
  • Byte: "I like you, you’re a snack"
  • Oxide: "Hey, there’s no need to beat the enchilada"
  • Xiphos: "I know I’m screwed but I wanna be screwed the right way"
  • Byte: "Bro, you look like Joe Biden from the back."
  • Solar: "Spread ‘em"
  • Onomatopoeia: "Don’t you dare tell me to spread ‘em"
  • Caboose: "He has the whole German army under hhis sheets."
  • Stradic: "Dang, I wanna be like Jet"
  • Xiphos: "I had to eat muscle to gain muscles."
  • Maverick: "What! He’s a Nazi!"
  • Onomatopoeia: "Goldfish are temporary, but Mongo is forever."
  • Aeron: "They built an astrology hut in the middle of nowheeer."
  • Xiphos: "I was productive, I was murdering people."
  • Tibia: "I love it when teachers are behind and its your fault."
  • Freight: "You’re gonna manipulate my hands."
  • Maverick: "False, you can worry about everything."
  • Pterodactyl: "Its pterodactyl not pt-rex."
  • Pterodactyl: "Welding is just sewing with fire."
  • Maverick: "He looks high off girlfriend."
  • Sushi: "I touched the woman because I was confused."
  • Maverick: "Everyone’s high on Ono."
  • Oxide: "Dang it, I used reverse psychology on myself."
  • Wannahockaloogie: "So he’s technically right…"
  • Sangheili: "But man does he look dumb!"
  • Caboose: "I’m not a guy to go after mom’s per say."
  • Wannahockaloogie: "With the shape of his bun, I can’t blame him."
  • Oxide: "Bounce that SUCKER!"
  • Solar: "It makes my ears feel good."
  • Axolotl: "I’m taking you to a random parking lot and this is happening."
  • Maverick: "The fire marshal is basically Jesus"
  • Solar: "It’s a fluids party!"
  • Caboose: "That feels hard as heck I’m happy now"
  • Paradigm: "If she feels safe you’re doing something wrong."
  • Keel: "Huh… I like men"
  • Oxide: "Don’t stay alive, DIE!"
  • Jet: "He [Mongo] expresses his love to me in strange ways."
  • Jet: "I’m glad to hear that no-no squares aren’t real."
  • Pterodactyl: "I know where death is."
  • Pterodactyl: "We have the same search history."
  • Freight: "The fountain of youth is strawberry milk."
  • Oxide: "No step too high for a high-stepper."
  • Pterodactyl: "We are about to reach maximum allowable sussness"
  • Byte: "I want to ride Loogie."
  • Byte: "Whip yours out right now!"
  • Paradigm: "I will boop you."
  • Onomatopoeia: "Why does everyone think I’m a terrorist!"
  • Sushi: "I’m shoving as best I can"
  • Carp: "Your body is very wonderful Mark."
  • Paradigm: "I’m learning how Shia LeBeouf came to Jesus"
  • Pterodactyl: "I like eating people"
  • Slinky: "I’m not even skin, I’m just numbers like 1’s and 0’s"
  • Everyone: "Shut up Jet"
  • Jet: "How do you spell Buddy? It’s with an O right?"
  • Byte: "Weirdest thing I heard in the hood was “I can lick my own finger with a chicken finger”"
  • Caboose: "I left that man stunned"
  • Onomatopoeia: "I’m not going to get high off it intentionally."
  • Xiphos: "Why does it have to be suede?"
  • Fanta: "You underestimate the power of my feet"
  • Maverick: "He don’t know where my mouth been"
  • Napa: "Can I see your stick"
  • Goose: "It’s remarkably wet"
  • Tibia: "Wow! Mav just flashed me!"
  • Pterodactyl: "Waffles are pancakes with abs."
  • Oxide: "Devin’s mom??? Speed dial?"
  • Zurich: "This was like seawater flavored bread w/ cereal on it"
  • Stradic: "You like sleeping on other people"
  • Hinkelstein: "I don’t think I have a quote."
  • Oxide: "You know what the best looking thing in this room is? The mirror."
  • Stradic: "Mine’s longer"
  • Stradic: "Blood, snot, and tears."
  • Onomatopoeia: "I would rather body than get bodied"
  • Byte: "I don’t want to be marinated by your knife"
  • Oxide: "My butt hurts… I was wrestling with Jude."
  • Byte: "I don’t want you to slather me in potato salad."
  • Byte: "I don’t wanna spoon him!!!"
  • Jet: "Why don’t you put some gloves on and join me!"
  • Jet: "His body is my canvas"
  • Maverick: "Use ‘em and abuse"
  • Neutrino: "You can shove any quesadilla in any shorts."
  • Paradigm: "He became a professor so he could screw more students."
  • Byte: "Bro got more chest on his hair than he does his head."
  • Onomatopoeia: "I’m not a Terrorist!"
  • Napa: "I don’t want people looking at my ankles while I shower"
  • Sangheili: "Would number of guys be the x-axis?"
  • Hinkelstein: "I write Stupid"
  • Slinky: "But regardless its going in me"
  • Maverick: "Real 41er’s make their property shirt a body pillow"
  • Twiga: "That’s like a cat trying to mate with a sea lion."
  • Caboose: "Stop grabbing my stick!"
  • Stradic: "Who’s on top?"
  • Onomatopoeia: "Have fun kicking balls"
  • Carp: "Are you balding, Jet?"
  • Iceberg: "Computers are just rocks we tricked into doing math"
  • Sangheili: "It’s macaroni noises on demand"
  • Onomatopoeia: "Did you have BIG dinner w/ BIG Teddy?"
  • Solar: "A ping-pong ball rode me"
  • Maverick: "Efficiency > People"
  • Slinky: "In the end we all eat saga."
  • Maverick: "Dating is for Women"
  • Mulligan: "Socialism? Sign me up!"
  • Paradigm: "Maverick made a man so happy!"
  • Byte: "Your hands aren’t cold they’re humid"
  • Xiphos: "My dad makes fun of my clammy feet :("
  • Caboose: "There’s a lot A LOT of Vaseline on this noodle"
  • Axolotl: "I can’t wait till I’m old and senile and all I eat is Jello"
  • Zurich: "amugus"
  • Freight: "*vacuum noises*"
  • Star: "Imagine getting paid to be a furry"
  • Onomatopoeia: "Why you put your hands inside me!"
  • Maverick: "Kissing is foreplay"
  • Sangheili: "Surge is borderline two-dimensional."
  • Onomatopoeia: "Does he want his knob?"
  • Maverick: "You want the big black one"
  • Sangheili: "I can’t turn off the homing on Berg"
  • Solar: "I am the IRS"
  • Carp: "All years are hate crime years, that’s why hate crimes are awesome."
  • Onomatopoeia: "My apple is more important than your flesh!"
  • Paradigm: "Come here, I gotta sniff you"
  • Paradigm: "I am Joe Biden"
  • Aeron: "Are you going to eat me or eeaatt me???"
  • Wannahockaloogie: "I need balls that have non-elastic collisions"
  • Wannahockaloogie: "Last year was hate crime year"
  • Iceberg: "Loogie! You cant just keep saying things"
  • Wannahockaloogie: "It’s more fun to implicate the innocent."
  • Jude: "Now both RAs have made us hug "
  • Kombucha: "Don’t be afraid to pull me "
  • Zurich: "It’s a full size bed mongo if you want to go cuddle on it. "
  • Pixel: "Gay juice "
  • Goose: "Luigi’s butt is a fearsome thing "
  • Maverick: "Go rob somebody I don’t know "
  • Zurich: "I don’t think you want satan behind you "
  • Sushi: "I lost a sock, it’s gay now "
  • Maverick: "Bro, your brain latency is like that of a snail "
  • Sangheili: "I didn’t appreciate your female bimbo noises "
  • Napa: "THEY’RE BALANCED!! "
  • Avalanche: "I yabba dabba don’t wanna do that! "
  • Jude: "Hip of destiny "
  • Kombucha: "You can pull me whenever you want! "
  • Poké : "Don’t take my nuts! "
  • Jet: "I feel like that’s a good reason to shoot someone – because you don’t know them "
  • Belay: "Your hand is gone but so is their face "
  • Onomatopoeia: "I’ll drop the soap if I want to "
  • Star: "I have an alibi and 4 winesses all of whom are complaining about me "
  • Sushi: "I think you’re confusing love with cancer "
  • Goose: "'If 41 was a litter, you [Jude] would be the runt. "
  • Avalanche: "The only thing you should be snorting is the Holy Spirit "
  • Jude: "'I was just talking to cause chaos "
  • Goose: "Hey! You’re brown. "
  • Sushi: "I’m going to put my big black hands all over you. "
  • Goose: "That is the softest butt-tap I have ever given a man "
  • Belay: "'I might have Stockholm Syndrome but eh "
  • Belay: "There’s grass on my snickerdoodle "
  • Star: "Let me drive a charging cord "
  • Dart: "My niece got stuffed in a backpack "
  • Stradic: "I am Mega Baby "
  • Maverick: "I’m gonna have to use that with my future wife "
  • Stradic: "Keep choking "
  • Onomatopoeia: "I’m your friend; give me your eyes "
  • Jet: "It’s Fanta’s nut "
  • Latigo: "You’ve lost Taun Taun privileges, get off "
  • Jet: "Wait, wait, wait, I didn’t gag."
  • Sushi: "I have a bomb! "
  • Dart: "Luckily I wasn’t hit by its compact butt "
  • Avalanche: "Your weed is turning the hogs gay "
  • Jet: "I just disregard Napa on principle' "
  • Hinkelstein: "He’s noob-tubing! "
  • Avalanche: "Truly I tell you, begone thot! "
  • Napa: "I performed many a hate crime last semester. I know how this goes. "
  • Solar: "So Pepsi is equivalent to toothpaste? "
  • Zurich & Jet: "Dirt Brown & the 7 José’s. "
  • Solar: "Leonardo DiCrapio "
  • Avalanche: "I need that for the gravemind pee. "
  • Mulligan: "If it sounds bad, just rationalize it. "
  • Maverick: "No thanks, I’ll stay straight "
  • Solar: "No! This is Taylor Swift. It’s not gay. "
  • Stradic: "'You got to keep grunting. "
  • Sushi: "'I don’t care how empty your soul is, put up the quotes on the board. "
  • Maverick: "Just put it in my mouth. "
  • Napa: "Give my some pixie sticks and I’ll be fine "
  • Belay: "I want to taste the smell. "
  • Maverick: "Its funny cause there’s a kid inside his wife. "
  • Maverick: "You got some spicy underwear on today. "
  • Star: "I suck weed. "
  • Napa: "'I’m straight up not having a good time "
  • Jet: "Jude made me wet "
  • Goose: "You can cheat on my boyfriend while I go get more cheese. "
  • Maverick: "The podcast my mom sends me "
  • Sushi: "Gay? You’re coming from AO at midnight. "
  • Tachyon: "I think Saudi Arabia had a good idea… At least when it came to driving."
  • Kachow: "'What if all that water turns into vodka because Jesus. "
  • Star: "You ever cut your hand on a sock? "
  • Tachyon: "I cause AMBER alerts "
  • Zurich: "'I am the enemy of the status quo. "
  • Jude: "It’s meant to withstand fish. "
  • Stradic: "Take it and shut up. "
  • Hinkelstein: "You have rather firm nipples I’d like to say. "
  • Goose: "I’m going to keep beating your nipples until you back up. "
  • Latigo: "The fumes are making me feel spicy "
  • Hinkelstein: "On a range from Maverick to Jet, how horny are you today? "
  • Maverick: "'Bruh people are gonna be like super turned on. "
  • Jude: "I need some of your neck-girth. "
  • Freight: "Shank him with the mirror! "
  • Jude: "Am I allowed to get physical with Stradic? "
  • Sangheili: "I don’t want Freight to be the last thing I see when I die "
  • Latigo: "The majority of water is blood. "
  • Jude: "Im going to report this to Jesus! "
  • Jude: "You were bent over, so I thought I’d give it to you. "
  • Slinky: "I like the queens face… its very seductive. "
  • Solar: "You sprayed your seed on me."
  • Sangheili: "We’re convinced he’s on rabies "
  • Carp: "Dude, I literally told you either burn the sandwich or I’m eating all the cookies. "
  • Star: "Leave before I title 69 you "
  • Latigo: "Oklahoma is just discount Texas, but with weed. "
  • Carp: "I started waltzing with Maverick & my popcorn was gone "
  • Jet: "A bruise a day keeps the sass away "
  • Avalanche: "I want to play roulette with a Glock "
  • Latigo: "Carp, did you just sniff his mic? "
  • Star: "I can clap with one hand with two hands. "
  • Hinkelstein: "Quit touching people! What is wrong with you people! "
  • Freight: "Sushi, I’m always violently behind you."
  • Belay: "I have hands now… I did not have hands before. "
  • Goose: "That’s your tongue, Maverick. Don’t do that with your tongue, Maverick. Why am I having to say this, Maverick? "
  • Napa: "SHOOT THE RA!!! "
  • Hinkelstein: "You’ve lost eyesight privileges. "
  • Maverick: "He started spanking me as we wrestled on the floor. "
  • Poké : "Carp is the source of Global warming. "
  • Avalanche: "I took 2 bites of a Chernobyl Sandwich. "
  • Avalanche: "You don’t know about the spaghettii noodle in the calculator. "
  • Poké : "“Do you want me to get the belt again. "
  • Kachow: "Spontaneous combustion of balls. "
  • Carp: "Stop, you’re seducing me. "
  • Sangheili: "He’s a cultured individual. "
  • Maverick: "Stop spanking me! Ahhhh! "
  • Goose: "Jet is ready to abuse his children. "
  • Goose: "Did you just lick my ear? "
  • Poké : "I’m not playing with Sushi’s balls. "
  • Dart: "I don’t have any quotes. "
  • Napa: "A lot of things I don’t know are in me. "
  • Poké : "I have a thing for tomboy’s "
  • Solar: "When no one is wearing pants things get serious. "
  • Sangheili: "“If God gave five I can take one away. "
  • Sushi: "I haven’t seen a robot that runs off milk yet "
  • Hinkelstein: "Stop rubbing yourself on the floor. "
  • Carp: “Are you writing fanfiction on my calculator?”
  • Carp: “Get off my bass!”
  • Sushi: “Is this a regulation burnt offering?”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “You will taste them, and you will like them.”
  • Napa: “Don’t commit a hate crime, don’t commit a hate crime.”
  • Maverick: “Give me 20 bucks and a shiv and I’ll drop ANYONE
  • Maverick: “I’ll finger my guitar however I like.”
  • Goose: “I don’t want to play pennis with you.”
  • Kachow: “It was like a small child and I tried to throw it.”
  • Marshmellow: “That’s how you make love to a bucket.”
  • Sushi: “Come here Freight, try my tow sauce.”
  • Sangheili: “Go to South if you want something done, go to Thomas if you want it handled.”
  • Onomatopoeia: “You can’t spell Carp without crap.”
  • Maverick: “I would eat Tsolomon’s Ribs.”
  • Freight: “Sushi, you know I’m just gonna be in your bed.”
  • Star: “There is a fine line between skill and insanity and you snorted the whole thing!”
  • Star: “I get paid 7$ an hour to create life and train birds.”
  • Star: “I know you don’t stretch that hard.”
  • Avalanche: Did you get your wisdom teeth removed then get hammered?”
  • Sushi: “My mother is a trig function!”
  • Sangheili: “Freight is a 5th order derivative of Sushi’s mom.”
  • Jet: “I would take a bite out of Orbit’s thighs!”
  • Sushi: “I am putting this in my balls.”
  • Zurich: “Come on daddy Nicholas, dump your rain on me.”
  • Sangheili: “Why would the ambulance set people on fire, Freight?”
  • Maverick: “I’m vaccinated. I can kiss whoever I want.”
  • Freight: “My butt is too powerful.”
  • Avalanche: “Thomas Hall has a Gravemind I know, because you can visit it in Sushi’s room.”
  • Maverick: “Next time you have a sock on come and find me.”
  • Yodol: “You got manhandled too?”
  • Goose: “I’m sufficiantly hwet!”
  • Maverick: “Your doom has been postponed.”
  • Freight: “Where is thicc Charizard?”
  • Orbit: “Gandalf just did a reverse prostate exam.”
  • Hinkelstein: “I live 20 mins away from Hellen Keller.”
  • Maverick: “You can’t ride my little red wagon!”
  • Freight: “Just imagine just drawing your name in someone else’s blood.”
  • Maverick: “Don’t worry, she’s floating real nice.”
  • Goose: “Everyday at 3 I turn into a cranky old lady. Beyew!”
  • Orbit: “I’m from Dr. DeBoer not Dorm 4.”
  • Maverick: “How do you feel? I just rubbed your baby lamb all over my hands.”
  • Star: “He just reached up, pulled it out, said that's healthy, and put it right back in.”
  • Maverick: “If you’re gonna stab me, at least do it with a stiletto.”
  • Freight: “Imagine shoving glass in your eye.”
  • Mulligan: “A guy without a knife, is just a regular guy.”
  • Star: “If you’re a racoon the world is garbage and garbage is delicious.”
  • Yodol: “Newton’s 41st law of thermodynamics states heat neither rises nor falls, it stays in the middle.”
  • Chase: “1,2,3 you’re not gay with me. 1,2,3,4 you’re homisexual for sure.”
  • Mulligan: “Birds are Angry, Immortal Beings.”
  • Mongo: “It’s gay now.”
  • Sangheili: “Who gave this Mexican a gun! Never do that again.”
  • Zurich: “No mulligan you have to treat it like a woman!”
  • Tsolomon: "Boss makes a dollar I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time."
  • Mulligan: "I want to Un-Alive myself."
  • Dollop: "Go buy a Popeyes uniform and come back with a gun"
  • Sushi: "It's like we're kissing, but our lips aren't touching"
  • Sushi: "I don't care! You just pushed it int! I don't care if it's the first time!"
  • Chase: "Do the right thing and push your Mexican friend out"
  • Magwell: "You can't stone the minorities!"
  • Pixel: "I love how it's like Christmas every meal, I'm just always disappointed."
  • Zürich: "My nipples are non-binary."
  • Zürich: "I love Jeep Jihad."
  • Magwell: "From my toes to the top of my head I have continous hair"
  • Corduroy: "I thought I smelled grilled cheese"
  • Freight: "I love pain... Maybe not mental pain."
  • Mulligan: "I'm only still alive because my heart won't stop."
  • Mulligan: "You make it like a year and a half and then BOOM."
  • Mulligan: "your feet are pure
        your feet are kind
        your feet belong to Hinkelstein"
  • Kombucha: "I think I'm going to support genocide until 3 am tonight!"
  • Zürich: "If my eyes have been assaulted so shall yours."
  • Hinkelstein: "If I come down there and have to file a work order I'll be mad."
  • Zürich: "I'll do it, I'll spoon."
  • Mulligan: “Why take the elevator when you can take your parent's inheritance?”
  • Squawk: “I wish to moisten myself sir.”
  • Crater: “I couldn’t find my friends, so I called my mom.”
  • Pixel: “The shoulders are the hips of the head.”
  • Barnacle: “Thwarted by my own stupidity.”
  • Iceberg: “All people are doughnuts.”
  • Cactus: “You have to do the reverse of whatever lizards do.”
  • Ulu: “Where do you get the Holy Water? Ozarka?”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “I used to not care about anything. Now I care about doing nothing.”
  • Zürich: “Loogie believes that you should be able to drive without insurance or a license, and that you should be able to sell drugs to kids.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “I am passionate about nothing, except not doing homework.”
  • Iceberg: “Freshman dumbness is its own special brand... you're all just bursting with energy and general destructive power.”
  • Mulligan: “When I look in the mirror I am repelled.”
  • Wumbo: “Babies are either Cactus's or penguins.”
  • Brouhaha: “God is watching, but he is not liking, commenting, or subscribing.”
  • Zürich: “If you can use a smartphone, you can’t tuck in your flannel.”
  • Hinklestein: “If you can’t have me, I can’t have me.”
  • Mulligan: “If you throw milk at someone, have they been milked?”
  • Zürich: “No, I was formula fed.”
  • Sushi: “If you’re really creative, there's a lot you can do with bacon grease.”
  • Bracket: “In about an hour, I will touch you.”
  • Mulligan: “Leave me and my noodles alone.”
  • Pulaski: “That's big brain maths.”
  • Bison: “You will activate my dad instincts and I will beat the crap out of you.”
  • Hinklestein: “Get me more milk peasant.”
  • Yodol: “I have a hit list and I'm at the top of the list.”
  • Barnacle: “If I wanted ethnic food, I'd just eat Takis.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “Our suite is a fount of strangeness.”
  • Rolex: “If you don't get Takis, you're racist.”
  • Cactus: “I am the second coming of Loogie.”
  • Mulligan: “I had a few less friends in middle school than I have now. I had my neighbor; he was 40 and very nice to me.”
  • Mulligan: “I've made more eye contact with this fish in the last hour than I have with humans.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “Negative fake imaginary Tremor.”
  • Iceberg: “I am the senate and the senate says die.”
  • Surge: “I was going to, but then I realized, I can just have sleep for dinner.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “I can count to three with my forehead.”
  • Squawk: “My body is used to the abuse.”
  • Iceberg: “He's wearing jeans with his shirt tucked in. It's the perfect defense.”
  • Slinky: “I'm no meteorologist but I am a meatologist!”
  • Pixel: “I look good in a bedsheet.”
  • Snickerdoodle: “Are the fields made of pasta?”
  • Wumbo: “I've waited all my life to wear another man's pants.”
  • Squawk: “I'm not smooth with the ladies, that's why I need the ladies to do the smoothing.”
  • Slinky: “I just want to get a heart attack so I can ride in the ambulance there.”
  • Kombucha: “Opinions are easy; just slap some heresy down.”
  • Trireme: “Why do we have catheters but not anoders?”
  • Sushi: “It's not gay anymore, I have socks.”
  • Wumbo: “You wouldn't bite the hand of the horse that feeds you in the mouth.”
  • Pesto: “If you actually are a moldy piece of rye bread, I commend you on your acting.”
  • Sushi: “You can’t tell me what to do! I mow your lawn!”
  • Cactus: “We are bonded by blood and icecream.”
  • Iceberg: “I have misplaced an entire freshman!”
  • Bing-Bong: “I'm not about to Lady and the Tramp an eggroll with another man!”
  • Surge: “It's like pooping but in reverse.”
  • Mongo: “Yes! I finally got on the quote board, but I had to be racist to do it.”
  • Pulaski: “Tinder meetups are cool, as long as you bring adequate weaponry.”
  • Slinky: “Sometimes, when girl scouts come to my house, I lock them inside and steal all their cookies.”
  • Crater: “If I have lactose, you can weaponize the farts that come out of me.”
  • Sushi: “Mexicans don't come here legally.”
  • Rolex: “You wear underwear for 30% of your life.”
  • Kombucha: “The water tastes really good today and the air tastes weird.”
  • Iceberg: “Am I racist or am I right? I don't know.”
  • Yodol: “Iceberg! get in here and look at my nipples!”
  • Cactus: “I'm going to look at you and you're going to like it.”
  • Bracket: “Speaking of morons... Loogie, there's no game tonight.”
  • Bing-Bong: “They speak Enginese.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “You underestimate my breeding habits.”
  • Cactus: “If I had some illegitimate children, I'd be much better at dad jokes.”
  • Wumbo: “You suck. You need an S.I. at smash.”
  • Star: “Why are three of you shirtless and none of you attractive?”
  • Yodol: “You can't take me back to the institution!”
  • Protocol: “We are all just big sacks of blood.”
  • Iceberg: “I didn't have a language in seventh grade.”
  • Slinky: “If someone is emotionally attached to you, you can manipulate them.”
  • Freight: “I must consume.”
  • Bracket: “San Francisco isn't the only country with gay people.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “It's like eating a candle, it doesn't do anything.”
  • Poké: “Insignia, you are like a foghorn. I could hear you eight miles out.”
  • Slinky: “My finger’s not broken, I have chem homework.”
  • Patella: “Sorry Poké, I made you do the hokey pokey.”
  • Rolex: “Asparagus makes your pee taste like burnt rubber.”
  • Wumbo: “Are you naked?.. Awww Yeah!!!”
  • Bracket: “You can't kill the plants because if you do you will kill Freight because Freight is a plant.”
  • Dollop: “Whoop Whoop! I'll request the death juice.”
  • Kombucha: “Some of you will be flashed but that's a risk I'm willing to take.”
  • Cactus: “He sits where he slept and I sleep where I sat. But, he sleeps where I slept and I sit where he sat.”
  • Slinky: “Russia is like Chicago.”
  • Patella: “Real men don't salt their eyeballs.”
  • Sequoia: “Big mustache... cool.”
  • Surge: “Reciprocate friendship, darrnit!”
  • Howdy: “I am going to derive you so hard you're going to get a boundary condition.”
  • Patella: “You may resume your nudity sir.”
  • Bracket: “Dude I just realized something... Mewtwo is just a flying kangaroo.”
  • Rolex: “I'm coming back! With a whole PAGE of Hexagons.”
  • Serveaux: “More esspresso! Less depresso!”
  • Pitch: “I had never spooned a man until Loogie came along.”
  • Hambone: “Bcc is for wimps”
  • Squawk: “Loogie no longer gets butt privileges.”
  • Patella: “Optimism is for wide-eyed school girls and Sequoia.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “Tremor is surprisingly insane.”
  • Bing-Bong: “That's not a spear! That's a bolt action rifle!”
  • Pitch: “Dude, if the California was spreading, I wouldn't tell ya I have AIDS.”
  • Pitch: “You look like someone who would look good on fire!”
  • Stripes: “Imagine giving up on a successful career as a McDonalds employee only to become a Power Ranger.”
  • Dollop: “You never compliment a woman on her moustache.”
  • Surge: “I'd like to see football be played with lawn darts. I think that'd be a good time.”
  • Squawk: “Well that’s what ears are for! Hanging your shoes!”
  • Cactus: “That’s one of my favorite jokes. I'll tell it to my kids, and they will understand it or be beaten.”
  • Squawk: “You know that song, 'It's a Big, Big house?' Well, I'm lots and lots of room.”
  • Trireme: “Sell me on bat crap.”
  • Wumbo: “So the taste of victory isn't sweet, its sour!”
  • Sequoia: “I don't know about intermarriage between friends.”
  • Cactus: “You don't need three wenises you already have two.”
  • Surge: “Do you ever get the urge to poop in someone else's sink?”
  • Magwell: “You know, blind and deaf people are 100% immune to flashbangs.”
  • Scythe: “You have the temperature requirements of a morbidly obese man.”
  • Drongo: “You may have a rotten banana, but your roommate has 1000 butts.”
  • Swoop: “We've got a couple twigs... we can make a spleen.”
  • Surge: “I'm black, so you can’t see me.”
  • Sequoia: “I'm statistically black.”
  • Crater: “Copy it! Paste it! Send it to Costco!!”
  • Cactus: “Put that in your calculator and smoke it.”
  • Rolex: “I have no idea what you’re talking about you dumb homeschooler!”
  • Squawk: “A little leaf tried to kill me today.”
  • Iceberg: “I've peaked.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “Any physical contact other than hitting is awkward.”
  • Patella: “He's dispensing more fluid!?”
  • Drongo: “After 45 days you're sleeping on 1000 butt cracks.”
  • Patella: “We're just two dudes sipping coffee in another man's bathroom.”
  • Dollop: “Cradle me, mustached man.”
  • Crater: “Pizza is a sacred act.”
  • Yeast: “If you haven't spooned Beans for half an hour, then you haven't lived.”
  • Dollop: “If he's in a dress he's got a yes.”
  • Wumbo: “Twilight fans aren't real people.”
  • Surge: “It's that wine gets better with age, stuffed animals just don't.”
  • Patella: “I'm the living embodiment of the Detroit Lions.”
  • Dollop: “You look like someone who has chewed dip for the last 50 years and lost his jaw to cancer.”
  • Iceberg: “I have no place else to put her!”
  • Rolex: “Dude, I bet he smashes some fluff!”
  • Drongo: “As the man of the house, if I let crunchy peanut butter under my roof, what kind of man am I?”
  • Snickerdoodle: “Hang on explain the joke again, it's not funny yet.”
  • Rolex: “Yurt just wants to kill puppies.”
  • Wumbo: “If you were a general, they'd call you Dingus Khan!”
  • Dollop: “Has anyone ever told you that you look like an anime girl from the thigh down?”
  • Dollop: “What do you mean no results for 'School Bus Drag Race'?”
  • Yeast: “Give me a sec, I'm arguing with my email.”
  • Cactus: “Remember, I'm the sidechick.”
  • Protocol: “One huge pro of leg hair is that you never need a napkin.”
  • Wobble: “If some red-haired, 70's looking, crackhead shows up in your room, it's probably my neighbor.”
  • Rango: “I was doing good until you complimented me.”
  • Dollop: “I was thinking about it this morning in the shower, what is the least effort dab you can do, full or partial?”
  • Drongo: “Gotta get pregnant somehow.”
  • Wumbo: “Your just hit me with your wetness.”
  • Swoop: “Don't complain or you'll die. This is Mother Russia.”
  • Pitch: “That moment when you decide to wear a blue shirt instead of red, I have power!”
  • Dollop: “Paint me like one of your Italian men.”
  • Yurt: “Cool people always use the back door.”
  • Snickerdoodle: “'Official' is a scary word... 'Permission' is a scary word too.”
  • Toboggan: “Ain't nothing falling out of my French burrito.”
  • Yurt: “My mom always made me think I was large.”
  • Stripes: “Every time I see your face I'm tempted.”
  • Dollop: “Wear what you would wear to a casual first date with your cousin.”
  • Wumbo: “I'm not wishing ill, I'm just not wishing him well.”
  • Squawk: “Howdy is dating you in female form.”
  • Toboggan: “You wanna lick my fingers?”
  • Protocol: “I'm like a 40 year old mom when it come to chocolate.”
  • Patella: “I break things man, I just do.”
  • Dollop: “SpaceX, brought to you by obnoxious women.”
  • Howdy: “I'm gonna throw my tongue at you!”
  • Drongo: “Let me get my calculator, then we'll fight.”
  • Pitch: “If life gives you lemons, give life aids.”
  • Squawk: “Don't date someone you're not.”
  • Alamo: “You know it's a good Sunday when you make it out of church with only two death threats.”
  • Squawk: “I'll show you average!!”
  • Stripes: “I already have a bunch of parasites crawling around in my space... it's called... you.”
  • Yeast: “I can sand paper the heck out of your face.”
  • Snake: “Your shirt just birthed two socks.”
  • Drongo: “HBCB: hot babes covered in barley.”
  • Cactus: “I'm perfect husband material. Go ahead and wife me up boys.”
  • Wobble: “I don't want that demon to occupy me, I want to occupy that demon.”
  • Iceberg: “I think that much making out counts as a date.”
  • Yurt: “That's just bad parenting. Releasing your kids into the wild.”
  • Surge: “I want a dog that i can ride into battle on!”
  • Stripes: “My job is to take an idea and make it weird.”
  • Pitch: “For a class with so many compliments you'd think we were in a class for Canadian citizenship.”
  • Dollop: “Dude. Fuzzy gum. There's a market for that right?”
  • Cactus: “Hey are you thirsty? I'm asking for a friend.”
  • Patella: “Don't make engineering paper seductive. I should never see seductive engineering paper.”
  • Trireme: “If you actually did your homework, you would probably be used to doing your homework, and you wouldn't forget to do your homework.”
  • Yurt: “I'm saving my Achilles heel for my wife.”
  • Hambone: “What's a grilled cheese? It's a waste of two pieces of bread and cheese.”
  • Snooze: “I forgot to bring a Barbie... I mean, I don't own a Barbie.”
  • Stripes: “I put my bra on one sleeve at a time like the rest of you.”
  • Stripes: “Ahh... This lighting, this music, this queso... I need a blunt.”
  • Rolex: “Over there they have those yellow phone shaped bananas. They're bananas.”
  • Iceberg: “Wait stop. Go back two faces.”
  • Dollop: “I could marry a girl without arms. That's not even important.”
  • Snake: “Women, a better choice.”
  • Hambone: “Yeet.”
  • Rolex: “Now you got me hittin' up the Bob the Builder wiki.”
  • Surge: “It be nips out.”
  • Dollop: “Go-go-gadget, adult diaper!”
  • Bam-Bam: “That's why I'm called Bam-bam, you can hit me as many times as you like.”
  • Surge: “They don’t want the government to do yoga.”
  • Cattywampus: “Oh wait, nipples.”
  • Pitch: “The answer was wine.”
  • Cattywampus: “If only we can print synthetic meats.”
  • Swoop: “Oh that’s fine. You're just going to be more screwed. That's all.”
  • Cactus: “I'm going to get a 41 tramp stamp. Get those nice butterfly wings and everything.”
  • Nessie: “Two stepping is really easy. It's only two steps.”
  • Sequoia: “Hey Patella, you want to get coffee in a non-gay way?”
  • Drongo: “Thomas Hall is different from Tyler Hall just like your home is different from prison.”
  • Yeast: “This is music I could sweep to.”
  • Rotor: “Girls dig blind men.”
  • Squawk: “I have absolutely nothing. All I do is date a Lumberjack.”
  • Rolex: “Who would turn down a Dollop lap? I sure wouldn't.”
  • Swoop: “No one ever respects the alfredo.”
  • Snake: “Come on Hambone, let's go put your skirt on.”
  • Drongo: “Can we name someone Squat so his dad could be Papa Squat?”
  • Patella: “I force myself to be pessimistic so I'll be happy with my grades.”
  • Cactus: “If I was pregnant right now I'd give birth on my birthday.”
  • Dollop: “Not a chance, Suburban white mom!”
  • Surge: “It sounds like a terrified three year old is trying to escape your body.”
  • Dollop: “I swear you talk more with your eyes than with your mouth.”
  • Ozone: “With great victory comes little sleep.”
  • Toboggan: “Wait! Hug me… like this.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “Yay! Anti-Frick!”
  • Stitch: “Its hard to make bank when youre dead.”
  • Dollop: “You're a freaking giraffe Surge, you don’t need to tread water.”
  • Haiku: “I will [come visit] if I ever get the chance. At the moment, I only exist on the internet.”
  • Surge: “Logically, there's no way to spike with the nipples.”
  • Trireme: “Come to the dark side. We have long hours and slavery.”
  • Snooze: “Noo! Too much booty!”
  • Yurt: “Lets put that in our chock pot of thought and let it simmer on low.”
  • Patella: “Never go against an Irishman when coffee's on the line.”
  • Squawk: “I'm gonna pull my gun and start stabbing.”
  • Yeast: “No man, this sexy bod can't take that.”
  • Yeast: “I have his nipples.”
  • Wobble: “I was distracted by Yeast's hips.”
  • Tremor: “Maybe thats what's wrong with my head”
  • Howdy: “Aww dang it, poopy”
  • Howdy: “I can count to 3 but I can't count to 5”
  • Yeast: “This booty shines through most pants.”
  • Patella: “Is that a Nebrasken mating dance there?”
  • Pitch: “The way he swings his hips makes it look like he played football in San Francisco.”
  • Drongo: “If you judge based on the purchases of my feet I'm good.”
  • Iceberg: “I'm a disney princess.”
  • Protocol: “I only remember 8 names and get paid for it.”
  • Tsunami: “My hips don’t's gyrate well enough.”
  • Patella: “You ruined all the fun of pulling large men off couches.”
  • Dollop: “You sell corduroy garters”
  • Flint: “That’s the second time I've blown up a bomb with my body.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “No one cares if Cactus gets AIDS.”
  • Alamo: “In the future, please try not to spank me when I'm with my girlfriend.”
  • Cattywampus: “If I was naked, falling from the sky, you wouldn’t be able to see me.”
  • Cattywampus: “He's only good at being a girl.”
  • Patella: “You and I have compatable legs.”
  • Squawk: “I mean I like a potato but I don’t know if I would drink a potato.”
  • Dollop: “Hey man, go get your wet on.”
  • Tsunami: “It's a freaking palindrome. I'm passionate about my tacocat.”
  • Cactus: “Man I hate it when people spoil primitive technology for me.”
  • Dollop: “Jokes on you, his hand is a eunuch.”
  • Yeast: “No you will not draw on my back.”
  • Yurt: “Romance is actin just in slow motion.”
  • Pitch: “Theres only so much pancake the human mouth can take.”
  • Dollop: “I've been sweating profusely from the knee to belly-button range.”
  • Flint: “Would those be pant, perhaps?”
  • Flint: “Men's pant, other leg sold seperately.”
  • Pitch: “I got deception bubbled in baby.”
  • Flint: “What is the definition of bread?”
  • Patella: “He's my lab partner, I don’t want to have to hit him with a reciprocating engine.”
  • Yeast: “Id rather be licked by a dog than by you.”
  • Howdy: “These giggle games, they're tearing us apart.”
  • Cactus: “My inner dyslexia said ‘Rob the blind old man.’”
  • Cactus: “Yeah Boi, tuberculosis.”
  • Tsunami: “I shall rub myself on you.”
  • Pitch: “A nine volt. Feel the tingle.”
  • Iceberg: “The tutus got to us.”
  • Snake: “Why are your hands wet and cold?”
  • Dollop: “They are not my lips. They are not in the catalog.”
  • Snake: “My dress is too big…”
  • Alpine: “Medicine child locks always baffle me.”
  • Beep: “I can't do anything. I have socks on.”
  • Wobble: “I need a woman with a body like yours [Cookie].”
  • Pitch: “I hear a lot of Chinese speakers hate English.”
  • Dollop: “Peer pressure is only good if it's drugs.”
  • Iceberg: “Question, am cat. Jump?”
  • Dollop: “There's this cool mod for a gamecube... It doesn't work but you can do it.”
  • Dollop: “Ain't that just like a woman?”
  • Cactus: “I don't want to bleed out of my navel.”
  • Iceberg: “It sounds like you punched a two year old.”
  • Rotor: “I need more limbs.”
  • Beep: “I've just gotta deal with the nipples.”
  • Alpine: “Hindsight is... too late..”
  • Cactus: “Happy birthday Iceberg. I bought you a baby.”
  • Dollop: “Chicken does not come in triangles.”
  • Snake: “I'm going to tickle you and pull your socks down.”
  • Yurt: “Who is that hot hunk of man flesh.”
  • Tsunami: “Taste my feet and weep.”
  • Snickerdoodle: “Now there's a man with a clean urinary tract.”
  • Rango: “I'm glad I grew up redneck as hell. Pretty good times.”
  • Swoop: “I like your shirt... and your body...”
  • Patella: “I guess you could say he has a.. 'special'.. relationship with his sister.”
  • Stripes: “Someday, you'll have a wife who has a beard as luscious as mine.”
  • Stripes: “Wake me another man.”
  • Pitch: “The only reason I'm becoming an engineer is so I can make enough money to make a lot of money in Vegas.”
  • Stripes: “I'm a chip.”
  • Raven: “I can get a confession out of him... and it doesn't involve spooning.”
  • Hambone: “I would never use my beard as a bribe, it's too dangerous.”
  • Yurt: “When I get cold, I feel high.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “I don't really get tan, I just get less white.”
  • Stripes: “Ponding is like birth. ITS TIME!!”
  • Iceberg: “I have been forcibly moved to make love to your guitar.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “I only buy legos and food.”
  • Tremor: “I don't know what I'm doing anymore.”
  • Yurt: “Don't kill me, I'm so young and beardless.”
  • Tsunami: “Dude, crispy angles.”
  • Patella: “I am the last Samurai.”
  • Snooze: “I am the last Patella.”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “Don't try to understand Cactus, it's bad for your health.”
  • Cactus: “I would burn down a forest just for the smell.”
  • Kolache: “Where you come from, sexy man?”
  • Wannahockaloogie: “Milk my thumbs.”
  • Stripes: “Bessie?? Is she a heifer.”
  • Surge: “Spread your legs Boba it's more comfortable.”
  • Surge: “You need to build up your resistance to epilepsy.”
  • Howdy: “Has your girlfriend tried to set you up with anyone recently?”
  • Surge: “Frickin' WHAM!!!”
  • Hambone: “You can't flimflam the zimzam.”
  • Snake: “What the heck is a zimzam?”
  • Trireme: “Responsibility is the opium of life.”
  • Surge: “Where we're going we don't need... pants...”
  • Hambone: “They don't think it be like it is, but it do.”
  • Pitch: “Young people die too.”
  • Yurt: “It was good but I wouldn't kill my mom for it.”
  • Rango: “I'm going to spray it with bleach, and if its alive, it will be dead soon.”
  • Cactus: “I smell like other people's farts.”
  • Rotor & Beep: “We may not know how to shop, but we are men, we can definitely pack.”
  • Loop: “That was fun, I want to get high now.”
  • Cactus: “Who wet my pants?”
  • Tether: “Long story short, lemon people.”
  • Haiku: “The only thing I can think of that is black and fuzzy is a bear... or Rhamnos.”
  • Ergo: “Frankly, my cabbage, I don't give a damn.”
  • Syntax: “Tickling does not help my ethos! Tickling does not help my ethos!”
  • Redox: “Yeah, he just needs to die.”
  • Ergo: “Don't bit the hand that feeds your foot!”
  • Syntax: “I would like the option of a porcelain toilet that is NOT attached to my legs!”
  • Ergo: “Psychology is a more stable form of Redox.”
  • Tuk tuk: “My mom told me to be nice to people who can shoot guns.”
  • Mana: “Ctrl-F Shiny, now!”
  • Haiku: “I would like to be your friend, but I WILL punch you.”
  • Mana: “No, my one weakness: spinning! And missiles!”
  • Haiku: “One of them might not have been a zombie… they may have just been a girl.”
  • Syntax: “Are you guys bonding over intestinal disorders?”
  • Tether: “I guess we could take all of the Walmarts and put them in space, and it would be its own Death Star of Bargains!”
  • Spark: “That hit the nail on the hammer!”
  • Tether: “My kid’s an honor student… my kid has a tank!”
  • Summit: “You said dangerous, but I think you mispronounced delicious.”
  • Ergo: “Snaps are magic.”
  • Haiku: “I felt lonely because they took 1 minute to reply. That’s like 2 coffee days!”
  • Tumbler: “I don't like sudo! It doesn't make me any sandwiches!”
  • Gyro: “Turn that zombification into incarnation.”
  • Syntax: “It’s amazing what a lack of sleep and a sailor costume will do to your self-confidence.”
  • Tether: “Yes, but you need more unicorns.”
  • Ergo: “I swear, if my quote is not on the wall, I will beat you over the head with our milk.”
  • Tumbler: “I can ride my car with no handlebars!”
  • Haiku: “It takes a fire to raze a building.”
  • Tether: “I could be an engineer… Ow my eye!”
  • Mana: “Priceless won’t pay your bail.”
  • Tumbler: “I’ll call your brisket and raise you a jellyfish.”
  • Chisel: “I’d rather have my knife than my wallet.”
  • Tumbler: “Ok! To do list… Poop!”
  • Bacon: “He has a broken mind. It’s warped and twisted and needs to be fixed. Does anybody have hammer?”
  • Tumbler: “Dang administrative dragons…”
  • Spark: “I don’t like to have fun.”
  • Haiku: “I think that’s the longest I’ve stood in someone’s shower with the intent to kill them.”
  • Bacon: “I said that? I thought so.”
  • Bacon: “I agree with Tuk-Tuk for once… Whoa I feel dirty now!”
  • Tuk Tuk: “I’m going to be the voice of wisdom now.”
  • Atlas: “When I go looking for swords, I go to the Davis Dumpster.”
  • Atlas: “If I can eat it, it will make sense.”
  • Zephyr: “I’ll try not to walk around on my eyeballs…”
  • Lasso: “I’m not going to pull out pom-poms and a skirt, if that’s what you mean.”
  • Beta: “That’s why we elect Gabe Newell president: we’ll never have to worry about World War III!”
  • Bacon: “There’s a bunch in… that one country that starts with an Australia.”
  • Syntax: “You know you have problems when your armpits have grandchildren.”
  • Haiku: “That makes sense, because you kind of turn into a transcendent space goat.”
  • Fedora: “You saved the world from obesity and creepy clowns with one shield bash!”
  • Haiku: “Well, I’ve never heard anyone cat-call after a piranha-stuffed whale before.”
  • Haiku: “Everything gets a little hazy when a girl’s involved.”
  • Tuk Tuk: “Girlfriends are people too.”
  • Rhamnos: “Hey honey, let’s go rent a room that smells like a dirty gym sock.”
  • Bacon: “It clears my sinuses- and my eyeballs.”
  • Syntax: “My brain just gave me a free cookie!”
  • Spark: “Computers always have issues… like people.”
  • Atlas: “God uses the metric system.”
  • Chisel: “Then you have a cape and become super ninja!”
  • Sabian: “I’m no… communist.”
  • Spark: “I still don’t understand 3-phase fire.”
  • Zephyr: “My butt has god-like powers!”
  • Rhamnos: “Does the other guy in my head have to be schizophrenic too?”
  • Bacon: “I’m an egg-salad sandwich!”
  • Syntax: “That’s like someone breaking into your house while covered in pastries!”
  • Haiku: “Grass is always greener… when you can EAT it!”
  • Trigger: “If a woman really loves you, she’ll accept you for your tractor.”
  • Beta: “Don’t make me laugh while I’m eating cheese or we’ll all die!”
  • Syntax: “They make cannibalism cute!”
  • Plume : “Cute girls are rarely productive.”
  • Tuk Tuk: “I have a healthy fear of nuclear warheads, grenades and Dr. Adonyi.”
  • Zephyr: “The sun is the giant death ball of life.”
  • Serif: “Growing up is always harder than growing down.”
  • Plume: “If you start purring, I WILL punch you!”
  • Haiku: “Note: Gravity still goes down.”
  • Bacon: “I was hoping for something more exciting… like blasphemy!”
  • Syntax: “Due to a change in my reference point, you are now me.”
  • Haiku : “The aging process makes a cheese great but metal makes a cheese greater”
  • Zephyr: “It’s not a floor run, it’s spontaneous indoor rugby.”
  • Vox: “There's no fun without tyranny.”
  • Syntax: “The probabilities have been skewered tonight.”
  • Codex: “Thank you non-conductive unrealistic tree.”
  • Shutter: “Real life has a wonderful physic engine.”
  • Syntax: “It's always nice to have a well trained couch.”
  • Plume: “I'm not decrepit, I'm just old.”
  • Wrench: “I just had surgery, I can't explode tomorrow.”
  • Bacon: “Fire doesn't do what deer does.”
  • Codex: “There is a disturbing lack of noms.”
  • Garuda: “Wharf, come help us beat each other up!”
  • Syntax: “Quick! Someone make me a speech bubble out of pizza!”
  • Snake: “Look! It's our burgers in vapor form.”
  • Haiku: “Oh, my watch is slightly behind the five minutes ahead it's supposed to be.”
  • Lock: “That's the best quote since the potato!”
  • Bacon: “No, I'm being depressed. You're ruining the mood...”
  • Syntax: “If you ever take a dump that clogs one of these toilets, I WILL sing about it.”
  • Fedora: “Being a substitute teacher is like being a warden, superhero, AND a mercenary.”
  • Chisel: “I would give you money if I were one of your grandmas”
  • Claw: “Girls are like gnomes, they go inside holes and disappear.”
  • Knuckles: “What if your wife bares me as a child?”
  • Bacon: “It's not so much the ingenuity that sets them apart anymore... It's more the rotting flesh.”
  • Plume: “I will have to consult the laundry monies...”
  • Cloak: “This is what happens when a 41er doesn't sit at the 41 table... The world slowly implodes.”
  • Dagger: “Think around the corner of the box.”
  • Tuk Tuk: “Did somebody spike his grape juice?”
  • Beetle Juice: “I could replace my iPhone with a sticky-pad, a calendar, and a slinky”
  • Spark: “I will trade one potato... for Dictatorship”
  • Scribbles: “Mullets are the only hairstyle punishable by death.”
  • Dagger: “All Canadian noses come with retractable beaver teeth.”
  • Bacon: “I could have sworn he had a gall bladder; I thought I checked that!”
  • Scribbles: “Unlike Bacon, you cannot block bullets with apathy”
  • Syphon: “I'm staring into your soul... It looks like salad.”
  • Newt: “That hurt me right in the childhood.”
  • Fedora: “Hats and guns and leather and Joy!”
  • Bacon: “I'm not getting mad I'm getting even.......MADDER!”
  • Rhamnos: “Oh my gosh! I LOVE snarks!”
  • Kumho: “You can't keep making Darth Vader pee his pants!”
  • Bacon: “See? I removed all your pain by removing all your brain!”
  • Tumbler: “I've been killed more times then I care to think about.”
  • Rhamnos: “I'm using circular reasoning, which means it's defended from all sides, right?”
  • Dagger: “Your hard drive might be a little disconnected...”
  • Newt: “Out of all things fruit, I detest strawberry Fanta the most...”
  • Tumbler: “Instant guests, just add chocolate!”
  • Bacon: “It looks like cocoa powder, but it smells like fire!”
  • Fedora: “Snarfity snarf. In conclusion wub-dub.”
  • Zephyr: “It's not that they think dancing is dangerous, they just don't want us to embarrass ourselves.”
  • Bacon: “Oh yeah, I forgot I had amnesia.”
  • Wrench: “Nothing I say ever ends up on the quote wall.”
  • Newt: “Because everybody knows, bananas make bad games”
  • Rosin: “It's genuine leather from a plastic cow!”
  • Bacon: “Remember, we're making a four dimensional circle right now...”
  • Summit: “There's a big difference between a man and Chuck Norris.”
  • Dagger: “Oh no I've been hugged! -9 HP.”
  • Scribbles: “I makes less sense in context.”
  • Rhamnos: “I find your psychological condition amusing!”
  • Wrench: “I love you-but not in the food kind of way.”
  • Dagger: “Now I feel like kicking a wall with my head!”
  • Fedora: “It's like every time she sneezes a unicorn is born!”
  • Kumho: “Submit to the SAGA cookie!”
  • Bacon: “If I could choose one word to describe myself, it would be cute; But next one would be apathetic.”
  • Plasma: “Integrated and Duct Tape are virtually synonyms”
  • Penguin: “I'm not above using airsoft claymores...”
  • Tuk tuk: “Don't be a Tuk-tuk.”
  • Summit: “Oh no girls! Evasive maneuvers!”
  • Serif: “Uneducated? What's that?”
  • Plasma: “I like being hyper; it's more fun!”
  • Tumbler: “I would fall over and die, but I'm on a schedule.”
  • Rhamnos: “I'm not a bad person, I'm a biologist!”
  • Dagger: “Calling that a climax is like looking over the Sahara desert, picking out an ant, and saying 'This is the highest point.'”
  • Atlas: “Nihilism... There's nothing to it!”
  • Bacon: “I'm not sure derailing is the proper course of action at this juncture.”
  • Plasma: “Curse my high metabolism!”
  • Tumbler: “You don't have to change your perfectionism, you just have to redefine perfection!”
  • Scribbles: “I ran really fast and when I stopped I discovered that socks have no traction.”
  • Dizzy: “I can taste your judgement from here and it doesn't taste like strawberries.”
  • Rhamnos: “I miss flying. I just tried to lower the flaps on my car.”
  • Scribbles: “Don't worry, you have Main Character privileges...”
  • Bacon: “Did you just assault me with the U.S. Constitution?”
  • Tumbler: “Your cowardice is impressive sir!”
  • Dagger: “Oops, I hope I didn't overwrite Windows...”
  • Summit: “I am a master of fake Kung-Fu.”
  • Bacon: “I have no idea what this is, but it actually tastes pretty good.”
  • Grey: “It is very difficult to reverse engineer a cake.”
  • Flare: “I just beat you with knowledge!”
  • Plasma: “Don't interrupt me, but if you do bring Twizzlers!”
  • Tumbler: “The only difference between hardwired and modular is some solder and wire clippers!”
  • Hopps: “Quick, somebody get a fork and clear his air passage!”
  • Grey: “In the beginning, there was fjord!”
  • Bacon: “I want a clock that turns the world upside down.”
  • Paco: “Spandex makes everything more original.”
  • Knuckles: “All passengers on board for calculus. Please keep you hands inside your head.”
  • Dizzy: “Life would be so much easier if everyone had their own energy shield.”
  • Bacon: “By bald do you mean no hair, or lots and lots of hair?”
  • Plasma: “My subconscious is going to feed your subconscious tacos!”
  • Tumbler: “I'm not very good at this whole living thing.”
  • Bacon: “Kittens in slow motion will improve any day.”
  • Zoot: “A lot of people get a doctorate's degree and then go save a forest or something.”
  • Shutter: “A cookie could collapse and kill millions of people.”
  • Touché: “The water is soggy.”
  • Fedora: “That's called breaking a person's neck, and it's frowned upon in most societies.”
  • Play doh: “I'm fine with being crazy as long as it pays well.”
  • Knuckles: “I hit myself in the head with a mallet, and I was like, 'Ouch! This hurts!'”
  • Tumbler: “My previously only black and white printer is now an only white and white printer.”
  • Playdoh: “Die, you abomination to the color palette.”
  • Paco: “I've added a person to the freezer.”
  • Knuckles: “I wonder what a cookie would taste like if you baked it for nine months...”
  • Tumbler: “If you're going to push me out of a plane, you BETTER let me see--I want to enjoy my death!.”
  • Paco: “Star Destroyers ALWAYS beat peach cobbler.”
  • Dagger: “All I have to do to get encouraged is look at your empire.”
  • Treads: “Cupcakes in the shower are hard to pull off--but it is possible.”
  • Paco: “I spent more money on tea than I did on my girlfriend.”
  • Tumbler: “I'm a computer science major--I don't have verbal skills.”
  • Plasma: “Shooting yourself in the foot is dangerous when you have your foot in your mouth.”
  • Tumbler: “You're the best roommate's girlfriend ever!”
  • Wharf: “Shutter will kill me, but it won't be the first time.”
  • Synk: “You gotta have the hook-ups to get the dead people.”
  • Tumbler: “It's okay, I relocated my brain to my left hand.”
  • Paco: “Girlfriends rarely end in your well-being.”
  • Play doh: “Biology beat you to the banana.”
  • Joust: “Food is meant to be pie.”
  • Wharf: “Wow! Adrenaline is expensive!”
  • Tumbler: “So much grease. So much Yum!”
  • Plasma: “If you die, can I have your Ramen?”
  • Tumbler: “The only fugitives around here are girls.”
  • Paco: “It's not awkward after you're dead.”
  • Fedora: “I'm dodging calculus like a ninja.”
  • Plasma: “Don't complain about the hardware; re-solder it to your liking.”
  • Knuckles: “Oh, I know why I'm tired. I took a stupid sleeping pill earlier!”
  • Plasma: “The internet is a stupendous feat.”
  • Paco: “Ah yes, I owe myself money.”
  • Play doh: “I like the future I'm envisioning. It makes little children cry.”
  • Plasma: “It is, except in cases when it is not.”
  • Tumbler: “Whoa! Look, here's a list. Let's go to Wal-Mart!.”
  • Knuckles: “That sounds cool and despotic...like something Apple would do.”
  • Shutter: “You can say, 'out of order until soon.'”
  • Wharf: “I can be in two places at once again--it's a lot easier than four.”
  • Gauge: “Wind-powered jetpacks! The faster you go, the faster you go!”
  • Penguin: “I was genetically predisposed to be a nerd.”
  • Glyph: “If it screams, it's definitely not a cookie.”
  • Tumbler: “Whoever invented the sandwich must be a rich dead guy by now.”
  • Synk: “We need to do everything we possibly can for high explosives...I mean honor your monarch.”
  • Glyph: “What do you know, I have feet!.”
  • Crikey: “You're stuck between 47 and 32--it's not that great.”
  • Fedora: “Are you going to start the intramural sumo league?...I'll join.”
  • Tumbler: “I might be a nerd, but I'm a practical nerd.”
  • Synk: “Chicago style pizza is like lasagna with a handle.”
  • Wharf: “That's assuming happiness isn't subject to inflation.”
  • Plasma: “Warning: posting on Facebook early in the morning may result in loss of pop-tarts.”
  • Shutter: “Whoa! The Hudson Bay is huge! Who put all that water there?”
  • Glyph: “Bacon's the best thing that ever happened to the burger--except maybe beef.”
  • Crikey: “I'll help him unless Grey killed me.”
  • Glyph: “If you put caffeine in the lemonade, you'll have a lot less secrets.”
  • Summit: “I tried sleep; it didn't work for me.”
  • Touché: “This is not a fire hazard, it's an obstacle course.”
  • Synk: “If you come here for an M.R.S. degree, every day is a career fair.”
  • Gauge: “I heard you chewing then I looked at the crayons and I thought, 'that's not healthy.'”
  • Paco: “I resign my position as floor capacitor.”
  • Synk: “This whole, like, trusting me--it's gotta stop.”
  • Forge: “Women rarely aid a situation.”
  • Shutter: “Somebody spiked the Ramen.”
  • Forge: “That's baby for Never give up! Never Surrender!”
  • Grey: “Eventually you will succumb to the harmonious cheese-sayers.”
  • Synk: “What is this desire to do something feel like? I don't think I've ever actually had it.”
  • Crikey: “You look like you're as special as I am--let's talk about this.”
  • Shutter: “A lot of it was Gauge, while juggling Treads' breakfast.”
  • Shutter: “It's 9:19. I have approximately...a lot of hours...before it's due.”
  • Pyrex: “It's like daydreaming, except more public.”
  • Treads: “How much popcorn can you fit in Bose' ears?”
  • Synk: “You don't get my eyeballs.”
  • Treads: “I've always wanted a suicide note of my very own.”
  • Pyrex: “That's another thing about big cars--when you meet small car, you win.”
  • Shutter: “Hazardous cargo? We've got Pyrex.”
  • Pyrex: “You can get a new wireless mouth.”
  • Pyrex: “Engagement is a much more immediate problem.”
  • Riff: “I was busy trying to ward off our room.”
  • Glyph: “I wouldn't make a good crook, I'd be too happy about it.”
  • Beaker (on behalf of Hopps): “I can't see where I'm goin', but who needs to when you look this cool?”
  • Glyph: “1 is the mafia of prime numbers.”
  • Gauge: “You can only divide by zero with a TI-89 or above. Because there's no way you're destroying the universe for under 200 dollars.”
  • Glyph: “Everyone's happy! I'm happy, and I make up for everyone else.”
  • Grey: “I am the voice inside the voices inside my head's heads.”
  • Gauge: “Ow! I'm dead now...that's lame.”
  • Synk: “Violence! It's always on time.”
  • Grey: “In the lab, you can never see the sun, but you can always hear the rain.”
  • Pyrex: “I could have been a nerd--I chose not to.”
  • Synk: “Paco, shut up and graduate!”
  • Amp: “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you in the pancreas.”
  • Shutter: “You sir are brilliant; you have uncovered my scheme--now fall for it!”
  • Dozer: “Procurement underway, Captian!”
  • Pyrex: “You're an idiot! I hate myself!”
  • Grey: “I am physics, and sir, you are lying.”
  • Shutter: “Did you get all the cheese ninjas?”
  • Nutcracker: “I'm just trying to kill you. Just let it happen.”
  • Treads: “No icebergs in the hallway.”
  • Treads: “I am not a good communicator--I'd rather take Facebook quizzes.”
  • Synk: “I'm suspicious of the -ish.”
  • Shutter: “It's an intelligent MAG-LITE. It has nothing better to do than take over the world.”
  • Paco: “It takes a lot of energy keeping track of people keeping track of you.”
  • Wharf: “I was among the undead...I think I saw you across the killing field.”
  • Treads: “There's a special place in hell for what I said.”
  • Panic: “I do not file my pants.”
  • Pyrex: “If you think a girl likes you and you go to LeTourneau, you're probably wrong.”
  • Playdoh: “We need to tell him a new lie. This last one turned out to be true!”
  • Grey: “My death will be recorded because it will measure at least 8 on the Richter scale.”
  • Nutcracker: “My dream car doesn't even have brakes.”
  • Glyph: “Land mines are not good at kissing.”
  • Playdoh: “I'm sensing a high reading on the nerd-ometer.”
  • Shutter: “Yeah, the living customers are just a pain, all they do is cry.”
  • Playdoh: “You need to visit a lawn mower.”
  • Shutter: “Rousseau is dead.”
  • Grey: “Logic shall always triumph unless used against me.”
  • Dozer: “When asking a girl out, don't be an engineer. It helps.”
  • Grey: “I'm sorry, not even I'm that two dimensional.”
  • Dozer: “I brought you onto this floor, I can take you off!”
  • Zoot: “Let's try this again. This time without the fail.”
  • Suede: “Ripstick can't be used as a sword.”
  • Synk: “I love life--it's so stressful.”
  • Glyph: “That's not unfit--that's brilliant!”
  • Kick: “Sandwiches ought not be subjected to interrogation.”
  • Balto: “We have a limited ability to avoid fwump.”
  • Glyph: “If it wasn't for my professors I'd learn a whole lot more.”
  • Gauge: “We changed the mascot to a fire breathing dragon. We were going to train it to go over to ETBU, burn it, and carry back their women.”
  • Zoot: “Oh, thank you for pushing me down the berm yesterday!”
  • Vici: “It's like buy a car and get a free tire.”
  • Zoot: “Let's hope trees are bad at math.”
  • Synk: “Is this not the cutest little murder weapon you have ever seen?”
  • Treads: “It's usually proper to let the train hit you--not the other way around.”
  • Synk: “Can you be the public face of me?”
  • Riff (regarding girlfriends): “You're not a loser, Synk. You just haven't won yet.”
  • Play Doh: “Charge with the fury of a thousand crazy psychos!”
  • Glyph: “My mob is worse than your mob.”
  • Paco: “Nerds don't even need alcohol to be stupid.”
  • Play Doh: “It's good to keep a buffer of crazy people around you. It keeps out the riffraff.”
  • Beaker: “I don't think punching solves everything--sometimes you need to kick them as well.”
  • Riff: “Spiders invented coffee.”
  • Panic: “I can program your brain from right here.”
  • Shutter: “There you go with them big words again.”
  • Play Doh: “I'm begging you...with violence.”
  • Copper: “It's all about the execution.”
  • Nutcracker: “You will succumb to my giving you death.”
  • Synk: “Okay, he's a moron. But he has my respect and admiration.”
  • Shutter: “I want you to demonstrate a talent--other than shaving your legs.”
  • Touché: “I feel this instinctive need to disagree.”
  • Grey: “Your soul is overdrawn.”
  • Blue: “I speak to my wife using a teleprompt.”
  • Scorch: “My computer's favorite artist is Ozzy Osbourne.”
  • Treads: “It's Thursday again...do you have an escape plan?”
  • Grey: “I guarantee that you will not get showered on Tyler if you are on fire.”
  • Panic: “You're only allowed to commit suicide if you don't injure yourself.”
  • Shutter: “Do remember that PowerPoint is not pants.”
  • Play Doh: “I think I need to kill you soon, as that would be the path of most convenience.”
  • Synk: “Bring your face to my hand and slap yourself!”
  • Grey: “I'm accidentally suffocating myself on your shoulder.”
  • Mu Shu: “I'd give someone the benefit of the doubt...of existing.”
  • Play Doh: “Switch the light off--we need to shed blood.”
  • Ghillie: “I should do something productive. Does anyone want to go to IHOP?”
  • Glyph: “I have no clue what I'm drinking, but it tastes awesome!”
  • Touché: “Killing live people is way worse than killing dead people.”
  • Glyph: “Ignorance is bliss...I'm a very happy person.”
  • Play Doh: “Your counter example is flawed.”
  • Nutcracker: “Are you trying to act like celery?”
  • Play Doh: “Move! MOVE!! I mean, 'Move the knife into my hand. Gently.'”
  • Glyph: “If it isn't a tradition you can't have an anti-tradition of that non-tradition.”
  • Zoot: “I want a squeedily spooch.”
  • Dozer: “The knives keep coming closer.”
  • Balto: “You need a caffeinated hug.”
  • Kick: “I'm being attacked by crabs.”
  • Shutter: “I'm new to this whole controlling space-time thing.”
  • Copper: “Why are you embracing the refrigerator?”
  • Dozer: “BAM! My clothes are gone!”
  • Wharf: “What's the point of being dead if you can't go around and bug people?”
  • Dozer: “You lose years of your life by going to college.”
  • Shutter: “I thought that was highly illegal and you would be instantly killed by the ghost of Corey Ross.”
  • Synk: “Look out Indian telemarketing companies! The mountains are coming!”
  • Panic: “Fifteen-hundred pages of badly written nonsense.”
  • Play Doh: “Sometimes to heal the person you have to chop off their head.”
  • Panic: “I believe in polluting the environment to the max.”
  • Kick: “Grey, you left your screwdriver in my room, so I took the liberty of giving it a dress and naming it Denise.”
  • Glyph: “Whoa! I can't say these big words--it's more than three syllables.”
  • Grey: “Excuse me, I out-nerd you.”
  • Treads: “That's a really intense picture of a grape.”
  • Grey: “I am going to highlight your boredom by singing '99 bottles of beer on the wall.'”
  • Play Doh: “Soap doesn't wash out nerd.”
  • Gauge: “Oh, I forgot...I have my girlfriend in my room.”
  • Synk: “I always die in these stories.”
  • Shutter: “I had a sworn enemy in highschool who was an engineer--which is better than what you've got.”
  • Synk: “I have nightmares for glasses.”
  • Shutter: “You can't take things into the afterlife like that.”
  • Ghillie: “I'll figure it out and then you'll become the fragment of my imagination.”
  • Shutter: “No, you missed it; you either leave your roommate very happy or very dead--no in between, you see?”
  • Zoot: “Now count to infinity! Dance monkey, dance!”
  • Wharf: “Proof by exhaustion is not a valid proof.”
  • Shutter: “Perhaps I should install a safe--to put my clothes in.”
  • Play Doh: “I need a robot to do my vacuuming; I'm totally incompetent.”
  • Grey: “I'm dead, but I carry it well.”
  • Smalls: “I love killing the planet--the sooner we kill it the sooner we get to leave.”
  • Dozer: “I can fine you with premeditated uncleanliness.”
  • Grey: “There will be demon rabbits inhabiting our lounge?.”
  • Copper: “I hate it when I change my pants.”
  • Treads: “They're not sharp, they're pointy.”
  • Synk: “I love you so much--in a really not-awkward way.”
  • Grey: “As long as its a good corruption.”
  • Paco: “I think it's more along the lines of 'why are you still here, you heathen?'”
  • Beaker: “What's the definition of a good nuke life?”
  • Treads: “I have a roommate who causes rips in the space-time continuum--it's kinda hard to be on time when you live with that.”
  • Grey: “That is all manner of not right!”
  • Panic: “I'll sell your flashdrive back to you for $5.99.”
  • Vici: “There's gotta be an easier way to break stuff.”
  • Crikey: “That's what you do, isn't it? Brainwash little children.”
  • Paco: “You have the wrong personality for someone who doesn't like to be shot.”
  • Synk: “That's why we make Teflon; so that nowdays, when you kill someone, you CAN get the blood off your hands.”
  • Kick: “What would you do if you saw a squid running at 70 mph?.”
  • Panic: “That is not an official occupant of that room.”
  • Brett: “Some things in life are Hobo.”
  • Panic: “Hypothetically, you need to turn on your brain.”
  • Synk: “I'm better at breaking things.”
  • Kick: “I can't wait to see the bear that's going to emerge from your chin.”
  • Panic: “I don't want people's bones behind our couch.”
  • Synk: “Dancing is a sin--especially when I do it.”
  • Grey: “I live where there's normal people--I frighten them.”
  • Kick: “I'm going to mix wine and grapejuice. And what I mean by that is I'm going to mix Sprite and grapejuice.”
  • Synk: “Now my mind has a screensaver.”
  • Pebble: “If you find yourself splattered in vomit in a few minutes, take me to the hospital, would ya?”
  • Mu shu: “I sleep almost every day.”
  • Synk: “You've tortured midgets to make your product.”
  • Ghillie: “They would come from 27 miles away--with a paddle.”
  • Wharf: “I came for 25 cents of happiness.”
  • Synk: “Why is my life being narrated?”
  • Treads: “He's making out with the cream soda.”
  • Synk: “Excuse me as my paranoia shifts into overdrive.”
  • Crikey: “The world's perspiring against you.”
  • Synk: “I've drunk from the same flask as Dr. G.!”
  • Glyph: “If you don't want to think, that's your choice.”
  • Paco: “That's not my problem--I sell shirts, not relationships.”
  • Frisbee: “The sheep with bling!?! That was awesome!.”
  • Play Doh: “Pirouetting is not for engineers.”
  • Balto: “We're paradoxical; we're very smart and very stupid at the same time.”
  • Wharf: “So, what if the robot creates a sentient bunny?.”
  • Paco: “I have a very exothermic reaction taking place inside my lungs.”
  • Synk: “That would be awesome; suicide bees!.”
  • Play Doh: “Apparently I was making the assumption that you are stupid.”
  • Nutcracker: “Y'all need to die.”
  • Paco: “I hereby separate you from yourself for the rest of the evening.”
  • Play Doh: “How do you take the integral of a hat... over a mushroom... with respect to a circle? I don't know.”
  • Grey: “Subject to this offense, Dozer will break your body and Grey will eat your mind. May God have mercy on your soul.”
  • Dozer: “I hate that light with an undying passion of a thousand jaguars.”
  • Play Doh: “I want to get funding to go bungee-jumping into a black hole.”
  • Kick: “Wouldn't it be so cool if you had to like, make out with a superhero everytime you wanted your pez?.”
  • Pebble: “It's largely painless after you pass out.”
  • Synk: “With the world in flames, there's a lot more that you can do than roast marshmallows.”
  • Kick: “But isn't it useful random math crap?”
  • Dozer: “I as your RA am required to threaten you often.”
  • Grey: “Your brain will be quite active--and then it won't be.”
  • Dozer: “Yes, I can kill you with chopsticks.”
  • Jester: “We exist to become freshmen.”
  • Dozer: “Oh my goodness! 9 volts across my heart!.”
  • Panic: “You shouldn't be reading a book while you drive.”
  • Dozer (on behalf of Synk): “If held at gunpoint, I will do what I am told. If held at knifepoint I will be a servant.”
  • Dozer: “I'm not the victim; I make victims.”
  • Play Doh: “You should hang out with Shutter; his professed hobby is being bored.”
  • Paco: “How healthy do you need to be?”
  • Dozer: “Dr. Graff isn't scary...he's crazy!”
  • Synk: “I found numbers!”
  • Play Doh: “Life has to start before you can kill it.”
  • Nutcracker: “I have singing pants.”
  • Paco: “Do you know how many monkeys died for that pudding?.”
  • Beaker: “Depending on whose blood it is, it will either be left there or cleaned up shortly thereafter.”
  • Grey: “Hurricanes are more fun when you don't have shelter.”
  • Dozer: “Turn that frown upside down, soldier.”
  • Mu shu: “Totally tubular.”
  • Crunchy: “I'm missing my life.”
  • Paco: “You're killing my pizazz!”
  • Dozer: “I want my bacon!”
  • Play Doh: “Biology isn't the study of life--it's the study of everything that can destroy life.”
  • Grey: “Just because I've offset my center of gravity by a reasonable amount doesn't mean anything.”
  • Dozer: “I reserve the right to kill anyone.”
  • Paco: “It is not alive--it is a binary conglomerate.”
  • Slurpee: “If something bad happens I probably did it.”
  • Synk: “I hate everything.”
  • Kick: “I'll sell out my brothers for $65.”
  • Slurpee: “I welded my roommate to his wife.”
  • Rook: “I do what beer does except cheaper.”
  • Paco: “Act your species.”
  • Kick: “Don't tell me you've never wanted to plug a whale's blowhole with burning tobacco.”
  • Nutcracker: “Give me donut or give me death!”
  • Joust: “That requires money, this just requires the risk of destroying expensive equipment.”
  • Synk: “Be here, or the ethernet cable gets it.”
  • Play Doh: “I guess you're the dictator then.”
  • Grey: “I'm not a cross product, because cross products are normal.”
  • Shutter: “Define real life... the analog world.”
  • Panic: “If I'm gonna die, I'd rather not have homework to do.”
  • Kick: “I don't know what you said but I think it's bad theology.”
  • Frisbee: “You're an engineer, you'll build crap - there you go.”
  • Joust: “Best if used by the apocalypse.”
  • Kick: “Anything over a hundred volts is gonna do something to a pickle.”
  • Ghillie: “I'm detrimental to your health.”
  • Panic: “When I get a buffer overflow error listening to you, it's not good.”
  • Grey: “It has somehow ended in Stack getting a trained monkey.”
  • Vault: “I have a tolerance of plus or minus Tom.”
  • Zoot: “It's a fine line between 'proper programming' and insanity”
  • Beaker: “I'm feelin' the love... and it's way over there somewhere.”
  • Pebble: “Get back in front of the computer, nerd!”
  • Crikey: “There's no point in them living if they're not all gonna die.”
  • Paco: “Great, a bomb with Alzheimer's.”
  • Grey: “I hate to be a prophet of doom but...DOOM!”
  • Synk: “I have Kidney Stones--I mean Cornerstones--with Dr. DeBoer.”
  • Wasabi: “Programming in java is like dancing with an elephant--it's hard to do, but if you can do it you'll have the floor all to yourself.”
  • Coda: “It's a terrible world.”
  • Sparrow: “That's a joke.”
  • Grey: “It's amazing what you can accomplish with little more than a positive attitude and an acetylene torch.”
  • Trolley: “It's kinda past my speaking curfew.”
  • Slurpee: “I'm in charge; I'm not quite sure why.”
  • Shrug: “You can breath in SAGA and get calories.”
  • Grey: “Put aside the teenager—and become the nerd you were born to be.”
  • Blue: “Ah, the wonders of stupidity.”
  • Jester: “Sure the program works, as long as the planets align, the phase of the moon is correct, and you’re wearing the right tie.”
  • Panic: “Operation stay-awake; mission status: failed!”
  • Grey: “You might as well give your soul to God because you sure aren’t graduating with it.”
  • Fjord: “Llama.”
  • Ludwhig: “This homework stuff is all relative—relative to how bad I want a chocolate milkshake.”
  • Dozer: “Chemistry and I have a hate-hate anger relationship.”